Some Letters From Readers

From Pam

Hi Steve,

I just discovered your web site.  I am so excited to have found it.  My beliefs and your own are very similar.  I work with at risk people and relationships utilizing equine assisted growth and development programs.  To learn more about this modality visit www.eagala.org.

Funny, I too avoided going to college for a degree in Psychology and am thankful for that decision.  Always good to trust your vibes...even if you can't make sense of it at the time! Thank you for so generously sharing your insights and philosophies.  I intend to share your site with the therapist that I work in conjunction with.  It will give her a better understanding of the approach I would like to take in guiding folks.  

Much appreciation, Pam

From Cathy

Hi Steve,

I came across your site tonight as I was surfing the net for information on narcissism.  I read your invalidation page and was relieved that someonecould put into words what I have been feeling for a long time with a dear friend of mine.  In short, I finally felt validated!  Thank you!

I have been confused and distrustful of my own feelings in this friendship, yet could never quite figure out why.  When I read your piece on "I Honestly Don't Judge You as Much as You Think," the bells started going off.  I too have held back, and still do, from sharing things with my friend.  For me the trust has been damaged, and I do not feel safe anymore to confide in her.  After so many responses about how I'm being illogical, emotional, hyper-sensitive, delusional, etc., not to mention the numerous times my confidences have been used against me at later dates to further invalidate any position I may take in a debate, I've learned to not expose any tenderareas of myself with her.

I too have been told, "Get over it already.  Move on."  But interestingly enough, when the shoe is on the other foot, it's a case of do as I say, and not as I do.

I'm coming to realize that I've been in the grips of a person who has some severe personality dsyfunction, and I'm grieving about that.  I'm also grieving for myself, for beating myself down for so many years, having allowed her to instill such distrust in myself.  I'm also coming to realize that she is a person that I will never be able to fully trust again.  It's not that I don't want to, since I miss that trust we had in the beginning years, and I was holding out hope it could be rekindled, but I now know that her personality disorders make it very difficult to re-establish that trust.

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences.  Thank you for helping me to regain my self-trust.  Thank you for validating what I've been feeling!

Sincerely,

Cathy

From Kimberley

Dear Steve

Thank you so much for the feeling words list and thank you for your website. We are a not for profit school located in Negombo, Sr Lanka. Most of the teachers are here voluntarily as well as myself. We are trying to educate the teachers, children about EI. Your site has provided a tremendous amount of information. Thank you for that.

I have given the address to dozens of teachers, parents and more importantly students. I am so very grateful that this site is available to anyone and provides such a wealth of information.

All the Best

Dr. Kimberley Scollard
Principal
http://www.nice.edu.lk/

From David

Hi, Steve

You asked about my site ----- so here is the URL:  http://ahlec.net

That will give you an idea of what I am "up to these days".

Should you ever have the time and/or inclination to do a bit of exploring,
this website introduces a little "treasure chest" of -- alternative --
"teaching/learning tools" that (in theory) can be used by children -- and
adults -- to enhance the quality of their personal existence.

David

From Chris - On Goleman's book

Your critique of Daniel Goleman’s work confirmed my suspicions when I
read the book.

I found the language confusing. Dressing things up in psychological
terms helped me very little. I see no benefit in having to understand
another language to learn how to do something. For example, I do not
consider it sensible to have to learn Swedish to be able to read the
assembly instructions for a coffee table.

I felt that the works of people like Edward DeBono to be much more
useful and efficient. They were also a much more enjoyable way of
exploring my feelings around an idea or course of action.

So, I thank you for saving me a lot of trouble.

Chris

From Kirsten

Hi Steve

I was just browsing around on the internet, trying to see if anyone had truly thought about emotional intelligence, and I came across your site. I think you have, at the least, a path set up. I do not know what else to say, I simply wanted to make contact I think. You seem sane in a world that seems to be losing that quality at a rapid rate.

Anyway, thank you for writing.

I will have to read more.    

-Kirsten