Emotional Intelligence Home Page

Common Negative Feelings

See also long list of more feeling words.

 

Dignity/
Respect/Self-Worth

Ashamed
Beaten down
Cut down
Criticized
Dehumanized
Disrespected
Embarrassed
Humiliated
Inferior
Insulted
Invalidated
Labeled
Lectured to
Mocked
Offended
Put down
Resentful
Ridiculed
Stereotyped
Teased
Underestimated


Freedom/Control

Bossed around
Controlled
Imprisoned
Inhibitted
Forced
Manipulated
Obligated
Over-controlled
Over-ruled
Powerless
Pressured
Restricted
Trapped

Love/Connection/
Importance

Abandoned
Alone
Brushed off
Confused
Disapproved of
Discouraged
Ignored
Insignificant
Invisible
Left out
Lonely
Misunderstood
Neglected
Rejected
Uncared about
Unheard
Unknown
Unimportant
Uninformed
Unloved
Unsupported
Unwanted


Justice/Truth

Accused
Cheated
Falsely accused
Guilt-tripped
Interrogated
Judged
Lied about
Lied to
Misled
Punished
Robbed


Safety

Abused
Afraid
Attacked
Frightened
Intimidated
Over-protected
Scared
Terrified
Threatened
Under-protected
Unsafe
Violated


Trust

Cynical
Guarded
Skeptical
Suspicious
Untrusted
Untrusting

 


Here is an example of how this list can be used.

I showed it once to a 14 year old in England who was being seen by social workers because her father had been sexually harassing her and I asked her to tell me which ones she feels at home. Here is that part of our chat:

steve says:
look at the list and tell me which u feel at home, and if u want, add who u feel that way with
anna says:
ok
Stereotyped-my mum, and dad,offended-my parents and brother and social workkers and police ,
steve says:
k how do u feel sterotyped by ur mom
anna says:
shes like oh teengers ur age.....

anna says:
i just wana shout im not a teenager but im anna im not like everyone else. everones different
steve says:
yeah
steve says:
ur not like everyone else anna
steve says:
i can see that
anna says:
lectured my family
steve says:
anna says:
Over-controlled
Over-ruled
Powerless
Pressured
Restricted
Trapped-parents
anna says:
Bossed around
Controlled
Imprisoned - parents
anna says:
Alone, Ignored, Insignificant
Invisible Lonely
Misunderstood
anna says:
u ok uve gone quiet?
steve says:
sorry
steve says:
i am doing three things at once
anna says:
ok...
Unheard
Unimportant
Unwanted
these words r really good they describe how i feel
steve says:
thanks
anna says:
Falsely accused
Guilt-tripped
Interrogated
Judged
Lied about
anna says:
Punished
steve says:
steve says:
who punishes u
anna says:
parents
anna says:
Abused
Afraid
anna says:
Frightened
Intimidated
anna says:
Scared

If I would have had time I would have asked her to explain each one. At 14 Anna was very good at explaining her feelings and the reason for them. We often talked about feelings. Now she is nearly 16 and we have almost stopped talking. She doesn't seem to want to talk about her feelings anymore. It is harder to get her to share them. She still will if I coax her. But as soon as let the conversation drop, she also lets it drop. When she was younger she would always have kept it going.